Kristin Sollars and Marci Ebberts are longtime friends, critical care nurses and clinical nurse educators at Saint Luke’s Hospital, Kansas City, Missouri. In this conversation, part of AACN’s Nurse Stories Project in partnership with StoryCorps, Kristin and Marci discuss — with warmth and humor — the intimacy and vulnerability of caring for patients and their families on their worst days.
Want to hear more from Kristin and Marci? Another segment of their conversation aired on NPR’s Morning Edition on Aug. 30, 2019.
Kristin Sollars:
You know what's weird about both of our journeys? At one point, somebody said to both of us, "You look like a nurse."
Marci Ebberts:
Yeah.
Kristin Sollars:
Because my aunt said that to me when I went back to nursing school. "Like of course you're doing that, Kristin. You've always looked like a nurse." And then somebody said that to you.
Marci Ebberts:
I know it was at my very first day of orientation to nursing school. And I was so nervous just walking in there and I was like, I don't even know if I belong here. And the lady sitting behind the table was like, "You look like a nurse." I thought, "what an odd thing to say. What do the nurses look like?"
Kristin Sollars:
Yeah. Is that a nice way of people saying "you're not wearing much makeup and you like comfortable clothes?" Although maybe that's just a way of saying I can see qualities in you that would be good at that.
Marci Ebberts:
I can see your kindness and your comfortable shoes.
Marci Ebberts:
So between us we've taken care of thousands of critically ill patients.
Kristin Sollars:
Yeah.
Marci Ebberts:
Right?
Kristin Sollars:
Right.
Marci Ebberts:
What do they all have in common?
Kristin Sollars:
It's universal that people are scared about their health. Even when we take care of doctors and other nurses, we can't talk to them differently than we do our patients with no healthcare background because the fear of being critically ill just wipes out that common sense and that knowledge that you have, so everyone's afraid.
Kristin Sollars:
And I would argue when you're afraid in the hospital, the person you need is the nurse. They look to their nurse to know what to do and how to feel about it and how to process it. No matter if you're the millionaire or if you're the guy in the park, I think that's really universal.
Marci Ebberts:
Caring for the patient physically, emotionally, you're caring for their families who are having their worst day, but you're right there with them. And in the back of your mind, you're keeping your eye on their drip rates and you're keeping an eye on their vitals and you're keeping an eye on their lab work, and you're thinking always two steps ahead of what's going on next while you hold it all together and tell them everything's going to be fine and here's what's to expect next.
Marci Ebberts:
In what other profession are you so immediately intimate with strangers?
Kristin Sollars:
All the layers of intimacy.
Marci Ebberts:
Yeah.
Kristin Sollars:
We are physically intimate with people immediately.
Marci Ebberts:
Yeah, like I'm going to clean you.
Kristin Sollars:
I'm going to wipe your bum now.
Marci Ebberts:
Sure.
Kristin Sollars:
Rollover.
Marci Ebberts:
But also I'm going to know what you're afraid of.
Kristin Sollars:
Nurses are really good therapists at listening and providing feedback and saying, "I think what I hear you say is this. Do you want to tell me that again?" Or, "I see you're really anxious. Do you want to talk about that?" That's a huge part of our day.
Marci Ebberts:
It's true.
Kristin Sollars:
Yeah.
Marci Ebberts:
Maybe we can restore you back to your original health.
Kristin Sollars:
Maybe, sometimes.
Marci Ebberts:
Or maybe you're going to have to be really adjusting to a new normal and what is that going to look like? Or there are those patients who are dying and how can we make this as peaceful a process as possible?
Kristin Sollars:
That's such a gift of a job. And it's really, really physically hard and it's draining for sure; but, I don't know if there's any work more meaningful.
This conversation is provided courtesy of StoryCorps, a national nonprofit whose mission is to preserve and share humanity’s stories in order to build connections between people and create a more just and compassionate world. www.storycorps.org